April 25, 2008

Wrong but funny: Cracked.com's Daniel O'Brien

With all the needless crap people want you to sift through day after day, one semi-unknown blogger has caught my attention in the same way the greatest page in the universe did years and years ago (before coming out with that crappy Alphabet of Manliness book).

Daniel O'Brien, a blogger at cracked.com has been consistently making me laugh --- mostly during situations where I probably shouldn't be laughing. For instance, at work when people are looking for any excuse to stop what they are doing to inspect the situation, I should not be reading O'Brien's blog. People who want to know what I'm laughing at would not get the humor. It's most likely that they'd avoid me from that point on. I mean how do you explain lines like “You want babies, People Magazine? You want babies!? I’ll give you babies. I’ve got babies pouring out my god damn ass, (it’s a pretty new procedure), and you don’t even need to charge me as much as you charged J-Lo. $5 Million.”

I read three of his blogs before realizing it was the same damn guy. All of those posts mentioned in some way a intense hatred of Hannah Montana.

I know, most of you are probably like, “WTF, what sort of cold-hearted, cretin could hate an innocent 15-year-old pop star?” Well, I don't have an answer. I do know that it's far too funny for me to pick apart. Plus, in an effort to align himself with future greatness, he mentions Chuck Klosterman . (Coincidentally, Klosterman wrote about Cyrus' status as the most popular teen pop star in the world, which effectively makes her “roughly the fourth most powerful person on the planet.")*

Clearly you should be reading this man's nonsense.

Normally I would pull out more random quotes from said articles, but I'll refrain if only to shield my nonexistent readers who are faint of heart. Instead...Here, I link for you. I give you a Cornucopia of O'Brien blogs . Go with the I Will No Longer Have Sex with Tina Fey If She Asks Me To or perhaps the It's Just a Stupid Baby.


*I'm really not sure if that quote is word-for-word accurate because I did not buy that particular issue of Esquire. But I plan on posting about Klosterman soon. Stay tuned legion of nonexistent readers.

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